I looked at my husband and finished, “If you’re ready for adoption, we can talk about it—but she needs to want this too.” He seemed surprised. To him, the answer felt obvious. This girl had lost her mother, had no father involved, and needed a stable home. But I refused to let grief make the decision for her.
A few days later, we sat down with her and explained that she could stay with us while everything was sorted out, no matter what she chose. She stared at the floor for a long time before finally saying she didn’t want a “new mom and dad.” She was terrified that agreeing to adoption would somehow mean replacing the mother she had just lost.
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